Since my last post I have taken a step back and begun to think about the reason I began this healthy living journey. To be honest, I think I have avoided some of the reasons for a very long time. When I first got back on the wagon of healthy living in January of 2016 I hoped to drop much needed pounds in 6 months. This timeline was in hopes of slimming down before my trip back to Nigeria to visit my extended family for the first time in over 10 years.
As I may have mentioned before I have always been a heavier individual. I was at times bullied as a child about my weight by other kids and well intentioned adults. Due to this as a teenager I often fell target to emotional eating, depression, and eventually anorexia nervosa. My eating disorder was the result of many factors, one of which was the compulsion to control the world around me.
I wanted to control what people thought of my appearance and who I identified as, at a very young age of 15. I didn’t want to be the fat girl anymore, nor did I want to be ignored, belittled or criticized because of my appearance. Unfortunately, I still feel the same way only 8 years later, I have luckily recovered from the illness but have also consequently gained back what was lost plus some. Although everyday I fight the urge to go back to bad habits and do what sometimes feels more comfortable, I remind myself to constantly take a breath. With that breath I remember that my reason for doing all of this is to be healthy.
I want to be able to compete in a triathlon and zip-line in Fiji. I want to be able to push my body to its physical limits, live a healthy life at an old age, and enjoy life to the fullest. As cliché as it may seem, I try to always remember that life is short and there are no promises in tomorrow. So today I must do the best that I can.
I wrote this post to give you as the reader a more transparent view of my side of the healthy living journey. I know how hard it is to keep going in the state of frustration and with negative Nancy’s sitting on your back. It’s not easy, everyday we push against invisible barriers that are very unknown to the peanut gallery, but very real to us. So today think about why you are doing this!
Think about the goals you are setting and relish in the milestones you have hit! Forget about the hidden pressure from others and the impulse to fit in to the box we have been given. Every healthy living journey is perfect in its own right because its purpose is to better you. You are the the reason you should be on this journey, and no one else. Today, we take back our health and remember why we started this journey! ❤